— Glenn Greenwald, from “The Man Who Knows Too Much" on GQ.com
Then my S.O. and I broke up, and I graduated, and now I just feel like, overwhelmed by not knowing who I am now or what my Identity is or what my Core Me–tools are to come back to when I feel sad. Going back to what used to be myself just pulls me into a lot of painfully bittersweet memories, so I’ve been talking less and drifting more and actively testing a theory that reincarnation can happen to live bodies by trying to turn myself into a blank slate. It leaves me both terrified that I could become an actual monster, as well as thrilled that I could become the exact person I ought to be, WE CAN BE HEROES Bowie-style. June/Action was a month of good, colorful fun, but July/The Great Unknown is black and white in anticipation….
The summer I started Rookie was also when I started to notice the fraying edges in mine and my friends’ families, and other things that are sad and painful. I saw it all as snowballing and thought it was the apocalypse, until I realized that a lot of life is sad and painful, and I just hadn’t seen it before—that adolescence is series of realizations that everything is so much more layered than you thought, and often so much darker. And as our pal Lesley Arfin recently said to me re: heartbreak, actual growing up only ever really happens during these tough periods of your life, and the happy stuff is just meant to keep you going until the hard stuff comes along and actually makes you stronger, more yourself, more complete. I think there’s a way to learn from the good stuff too, but I also know that when she said that, it was about the only thing that made sense to me at the time."
I think they’ve essentially become this mouthpiece for those in power, perhaps not consciously. When I make this critique, people at The New York Times are offended, because they actually don’t believe that it’s happening. And they’re not lying. It’s a more subtle dynamic than the government marching in and issuing memos to the Times about what they should and shouldn’t publish. It’s just a cultural approach to the news that basically says that the parameters of what can be discussed and viewed as reasonable are the ones that are endorsed by the most powerful financial and political factions in New York and Washington. They’re reflecting the mind-set of those elite groups rather than challenging them or confronting them. Obviously there are exceptions. There’s some good journalists there; they do some good journalism; they’ve done some adversarial journalism. It’s not an absolute, pure, constant, all-consuming formula….
Those are our backpacks!!! I approve…
I feel like the chronology of these tells a really lovely story.
I am in love with this
Maybe you think this certainty and efficiency is a good thing. Well, in some ways, it is! When I’m visiting an unfamiliar city, running late to meet a friend, or walking through a neighborhood that feels a little sketchy, I’m comforted by the fact that I can instantaneously load up a map that will tell me exactly where I am and where I need to go. But I worry sometimes that I grab for that comfort even when I don’t really need it, and that there’s a larger problem with that: My friend Matt once told me that he’s noticed the ripple effects of our collective GPS dependence in that, now, when we’re lost in a more abstract, emotional (and maybe spiritual) sense, we expect easy, instant, and exact solutions to those uncertainties, too. You might think it’s a bit of a leap, but, to me, it’s worth asking: What do people lose internally from never having to be lost geographically?
Model: VW T3
Location: Western Poland (spring 2014)
Photo: Milka Switalska
Some people say they can’t understand your writing, even after they read it two or three times. What approach would you suggest for them?
Read it four times."